General | Stop Workplace Drama

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Jan

Six Words That Keep You Stuck

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Six words that keep you stuck

You can tell a lot about a person by what phrase comes after the two words, “I am.” The way you define yourself impacts every area of your life including your workplace relationships. Listen closely and you can tell a lot about your employees, your co-workers and of course your leaders. You will hear everything from, “I’m a perfectionist,” to “I’m a people-pleaser” to “I’m a bitch.” Often the person defining themselves recognizes that the way they show up in the world is a disadvantage, yet just as often their analysis and description of self is followed by a justification Read More→

Categories : General, Reinvent and Realign

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Jan

The Answer to Relationship Drama

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Who is it in your life that challenges you to your core? Is it someone at work or is it more personal?

Is it a rude or overbearing boss? A Queen Bee co-worker? The pot-stirring drama queen?
How about a “Debbie Downer” friend you avoid when you see the caller ID? Or worse, an in law or relative you’d rather not have to deal with.

If you find yourself in a relationship that drives you crazy, has you walking on egg shells, or if you find yourself keeping secrets, sacrificing your own desires to keep the peace, or if you Read More→

Categories : General, Stop Relationship Drama

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Dec

Pick Up Your Oar and Row Row Row Your Boat

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When you really really really want something you have to be willing to get in the boat and row.

It doesn’t matter if what you want is a better team, a raise, or a higher position in your company or better workplace relationships. Your desire is nothing without willingness, but many of us do not tell ourselves the truth about what we have to be willing to do.

I say in Stop Workplace Drama, “Willingness is the fulcrum point of change.” Until one is willing nothing happens. A good place to start is to be willing to see the Read More→

Categories : General, Release Resistance, Tell Yourself the Truth

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Dec

The Big Distraction: Not Enough Time

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When you see someone making a mountain out of a mole-hill, one thing you should know for sure: It’s not about the mole-hill. Even when the mole-hill really is a mountain, it’s usually not about the mountain either.

The mole-hill is just a distraction…an excuse that prevents you from looking at your choices and being responsible for them. It’s easier to complain about the mole-hill than it is to go around it, or pick up a shovel to dig away some of the dirt.

In my two-day seminars, what I find is that if I work with a group of people Read More→

Categories : General, Tell Yourself the Truth

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Dec

Disruptive Behavior, Negativity: It’s All Drama

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No matter what you call it, disruptive behavior, low morale, insubordination, workplace bullying, or negativity: It’s ALL DRAMA.

“I am just about at the end of a two year long process of managing a disruptive employee. This situation ended up with lawyers involved and should reach a settlement soon. It has been a long and painful process as this employee had been tolerated for over 15 years.”

This was a real message from an HR manager experiencing the ripple effect of behavioral issues, bad morale, insubordination, disruptive behavior and workplace bullying that went unaddressed.

This manager is not alone. Negativity Read More→

Categories : Featured, General, Workplace Conflict

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Nov

Leaders who Rescue Create Drama

By Stop Workplace Drama · Comments (6)

You do it for the right reasons. You keep information from your boss because you’re afraid he’ll blow up. You let a non-performing employee get by with it because she’s had a rough year. Instead of confronting disruptive behavior from the bully in the workplace, you let it slide because she’s a star performer.

The people in your workplace might be different, and the reasons might vary, but the situation is the same: You are the rescuer, and when you rescue, you contribute to the drama and workplace conflict.

In my book, Stop Workplace Drama, I introduce a tool, called The Karpman Drama Triangle. The idea is that when there is dysfunction you will see three roles being played out as illustrated by the diagram below.

Do you notice a theme in rescuing? It’s justification. You have good reason for WHY you rescue. It’s going to hurt someone’s feelings. Someone has had a bad year. She’s a star performer. To leave the rescue role, you must first identify the patterns. Here are seven ways identify rescuing patterns: Read More→

Categories : Disruptive behavior, Featured, General, Stop Relationship Drama, Workplace Conflict

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