When you are good at something, or you have done something yourself for years, you become unconsciously competent. In other words, you can do the job without thinking. The drawback is that you do not understand the step by step process needed to break the job down into “modules” so to speak, so that you can effectively train someone else to do it for you. For years I handled all of my own posting on social media, and blogging, booked my own travel, and formatted my own contracts. When I hired an executive assistant to do those things for me, it was difficult to know where to start and difficult to believe someone could do what I’d been doing for years any better than I could. Boy was I wrong. I now realize that a lot of the problem was really about trust.read more
We often take for granted our real freedoms that are available to us every day. I’m not even talking about patriotism, the American way, or work-life balance. I’m talking about the even more subtle freedoms we fail to recognize and enjoy, for example the freedom to make a choice versus being a prisoner to our addictions, old ideas, and patterns that bind us. To celebrate Independence Day here are 14 freedoms to recognize and embrace now.read more
Listening is the single most important communication skill. When people feel “heard” they also feel understood. In personal relationships listening is an act of love. As a leader, listening is a way to acknowledge or show respect. It takes great listening skills to coach someone to clarity, or to help them redirect their energy from complainer to creator. When someone is on the “Drama Triangle” they have a high need to be right. Although you may not agree with their complaint, your ability to listen helps them to feel acknowledged so they can move through the problem and into an act of personal responsibility.read more
Drama shows up in three ways: An emotion, a situation and through other people. If you missed the last couple of articles, you can click on the hyperlinks to access them. This lesson is about how drama shows up as other people. From a drama perspective, dysfunctional relationships are all about how the other person behaves. We lose power when we obsess about what they should have done that they didn’t do, what they shouldn’t that they just did. We miss the gift when we fall for the beliefs that our lives would be better, easier and more fulfilled if not for the shark called, my boss, my co-worker, my ex-spouse, my teenager or my trouble-making queen bee that overrides my authority.read more
Drama often shows up as a situation. Situations come in many forms, from a speeding ticket, to an unexpected delay at the airport, to the announcement that your department is downsizing. When a wanted situation changes to an unwanted situation there will be drama. When an unwanted situation stays the same, there will be drama. Last week I talked about how drama manifests as an emotion. The emotion may be resentment, anger, anxiety or sadness. This week’s lesson is about how drama manifests as a situation and how to turn drama situations into gifts of leadership growth.read more
From a lower level of awareness drama looks like a shark floating between your row boat and the island you are heading toward. From a higher level of consciousness, drama looks like a stepping stone to the bridge of enlightenment.
What used to look threatening from the lower levels of awareness, now looks inviting, challenging and like an opportunity for quantum growth. All drama will manifest in one of three ways: An emotion, a situation or another person. Today’s lesson is about how drama manifests as an emotion.read more
There is a new model I’m introducing that I call the “See Be Do” model. The idea is that the way you see something impacts your way of being, and your way of being impacts your doing. The “seeing” is mostly about perception and thinking. The “being” is about your inner experience and the “doing” is about your outer journey, and the actions you take.read more
There is something that many people do not get. I want to shine the light on these issues so that more people get this fact: Transparency is not a choice, it is a given. There is no more hiding. If the reality of your corporate culture is out of alignment with your stated mission, that information will eventually come to light. As a leader, the decisions you make, or the information you avoid will be revealed. Anything you say may be on social media the next day. You can’t delete your text message you wish you wouldn’t have sent. That message is stored in the ethers and can be retrieved.read more
Any time there is a disaster, natural or otherwise, and where people suffer, you will hear the statement, “Who is going to be held accountable?” Do you hear the judgment and blame in that statement?
The reason accountability has a negative connotation is because we have confused the witness with the judge. We do not actually fear accountability. We fear judgment.read more
After the usual holiday season I noticed my clothes fitting a little tight. Time to increase activity and adjust the diet and to ramp it up, time to “call Jenny.” Why Jenny? It’s not about the ease of grabbing a pre-packaged meal so you don’t have to think. It’s not necessarily about the portion control. For me, it’s about the accountability. It’s about me giving up my excuses and putting measurement to my goals, and while I know I can do it alone, without a good accountability system, it’s also easy to avoid, deny or cheat. Is this an issue...read more