Seeing Self and Others

Posted by on Oct 15, 2014 in Communication Skills, Enlightened Leader, Managing and Leading | 0 comments

There is scientific evidence to support that the way we see ourselves and the way we see others influences our communication with them. When you see an employee as less than you, you build a barrier. When you see someone on a committee or board as an adversary you create a barrier. Ready to build a bridge instead of a barrier?

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Lack of Clarity as a Barrier

Posted by on Oct 1, 2014 in Enlightened Leader, Leadership Lessons, Managing and Leading | 4 comments

We tend to focus on and thus communicate about what we do not want but rarely communicate about what we do want. It is rare to hear anyone answer the question “what do you want?” with a clear positive statement. Until you are clear about what you want, you can’t get it. Until you are clear about what you want from your employees, associates, or colleagues, they can’t measure up. Clarity is king when it comes to communication.

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Three Barriers to Strategic Communication

Posted by on Sep 17, 2014 in Change, Communication Skills, Enlightened Leader | 0 comments

When we fail to tap into cultural awareness, we risk being misunderstood, and make mistakes that could be avoided if we would have invested the energy to understand the rules of the game, or the expectations and norms of the culture. We can all imagine how difficult it would be to move to another country with different cultures. The same is true in the workplace. When new employees join the company, they are entering a little bit of culture shock until they develop cultural awareness.

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From Drama to Enlightenment

Posted by on Aug 27, 2014 in Enlightened Leader, Managing and Leading, Responsibility | 2 comments

When it comes to drama, I have discovered that there are levels that people go through when they are on the journey to enlightenment. This internal shift is evolutionary. More importantly you have a new found freedom. The beauty of this evolution is how it impacts your personal effectiveness at work, your relationships and your own sense of self-worth.

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Power and Choice

Posted by on Aug 13, 2014 in Change, Enlightened Leader | 0 comments

The act of recognizing a choice comes with a fair amount of discomfort. Why? Once the choice has been recognized, the next evolution is taking ownership (responsibility) for making a decision. To actually recognize that a choice exists, puts you in the driver’s seat. You must be willing to choose: Do I go straight, turn left or turn right? When I hear highly paid professionals claim that they have no choices to develop themselves because their company won’t pay for it, I feel sad for their inability to see choice. There is always a choice—to invest in yourself.

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The Myths and Realities of Being Too Busy

Posted by on Jul 16, 2014 in Change, Leadership Lessons, Training and Development, Workplace Relationships | 2 comments

When you are good at something, or you have done something yourself for years, you become unconsciously competent. In other words, you can do the job without thinking. The drawback is that you do not understand the step by step process needed to break the job down into “modules” so to speak, so that you can effectively train someone else to do it for you. For years I handled all of my own posting on social media, and blogging, booked my own travel, and formatted my own contracts. When I hired an executive assistant to do those things for me, it was difficult to know where to start and difficult to believe someone could do what I’d been doing for years any better than I could. Boy was I wrong. I now realize that a lot of the problem was really about trust.

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14 Freedoms for 2014

Posted by on Jul 1, 2014 in Change, Course Correction, Responsibility | 3 comments

We often take for granted our real freedoms that are available to us every day. I’m not even talking about patriotism, the American way, or work-life balance. I’m talking about the even more subtle freedoms we fail to recognize and enjoy, for example the freedom to make a choice versus being a prisoner to our addictions, old ideas, and patterns that bind us. To celebrate Independence Day here are 14 freedoms to recognize and embrace now.

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How to Lead by Listening

Posted by on Jun 5, 2014 in Communication Skills, Leadership Lessons, Managing and Leading | 1 comment

Listening is the single most important communication skill. When people feel “heard” they also feel understood. In personal relationships listening is an act of love. As a leader, listening is a way to acknowledge or show respect. It takes great listening skills to coach someone to clarity, or to help them redirect their energy from complainer to creator. When someone is on the “Drama Triangle” they have a high need to be right. Although you may not agree with their complaint, your ability to listen helps them to feel acknowledged so they can move through the problem and into an act of personal responsibility.

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Lesson #3 Drama Shows Up As A Person

Posted by on May 28, 2014 in Enlightened Leader, Leadership Lessons, Responsibility, Stop Relationship Drama | 4 comments

Drama shows up in three ways: An emotion, a situation and through other people. If you missed the last couple of articles, you can click on the hyperlinks to access them. This lesson is about how drama shows up as other people. From a drama perspective, dysfunctional relationships are all about how the other person behaves. We lose power when we obsess about what they should have done that they didn’t do, what they shouldn’t that they just did. We miss the gift when we fall for the beliefs that our lives would be better, easier and more fulfilled if not for the shark called, my boss, my co-worker, my ex-spouse, my teenager or my trouble-making queen bee that overrides my authority.

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Lesson #2 Drama as the Situation

Posted by on May 21, 2014 in Enlightened Leader, Leadership Lessons, Stop Relationship Drama | 3 comments

Drama often shows up as a situation. Situations come in many forms, from a speeding ticket, to an unexpected delay at the airport, to the announcement that your department is downsizing. When a wanted situation changes to an unwanted situation there will be drama. When an unwanted situation stays the same, there will be drama. Last week I talked about how drama manifests as an emotion. The emotion may be resentment, anger, anxiety or sadness. This week’s lesson is about how drama manifests as a situation and how to turn drama situations into gifts of leadership growth.

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